Lives of our Children
by view from here
Summary: .Kid Nation. In this parody, find out what happens when CBS turns Kid Nation into an all-new soap opera.
1. Episode 1

I do not, nor do I claim to, own the rights to CBS's Kid Nation.

_We see an aerial veiw of the desert. A big yellow school bus pulls up, stirring dust into the air as it does. TATU's love me not INSTRUMENTAL is playing. As the music swells, the camera zooms in. At 0:29, we cut to a view of the bus door. Children are walking out. At 0:53, the music fades._

JONATHAN: Hey everybody, gather up! Gather up! Pack it in! I'm Jonathan, nice to meet you guys. So how are you guys feeling?

ALL KIDS: Good!

KELSEY: Scared!

JONATHAN: Well, say goodbye to that school bus, and say hello to the middle of nowhere.

DIVAD: (faints)

KELSEY: Oh, my god, Divad fainted!

_Dramatic music swells out of nowhere._

JONATHAN: (unfazed) Bonanza City is just a few miles that way...wait, what? Was that in the script?

KELSEY: (clears her throat)

JONATHAN: Um, I mean...we need a...doctor? Bonanza City is...? Forty days...? Um, but don't worry, Divad's breathing, she doesn't die 'till day twenty-three, and you're not alone. You've got eachother, and four leaders. And they've been chosen because they represent you in age, geography, emotional unbalance, everything. They're you're town council, and I think I hear them coming right now.

KIDS: (look up)

LEILA: Jonathan, I thought you told us to watch for a helecopter. Right?

JONATHAN: That's...that's...that's quite rediculous, Leila, because...(adopts British accent spontaneously) you knew nary a thing about this before it was to occur. That's how our good society works. (faints)

KELSEY: Oh my god, Jonathan fainted!

_Loves Me Not swells as the words "Lives of Our Children" zooms in on the screen._

_End episode one._


	2. Episode 2

_We see Laurel sitting on a barrel in the middle of town. The wind stirs her hair a little and she sighs. Desert sand blows all around her, softly, but somehow not touching her. She crosses her legs and stares at the moon. "Opening Titles" by Seatlemusic from JONAH plays. At 0:28, as the music swells, the camera pans quickly to reveal Michael stepping out of the shadow. He strides quickly toward Laurel, and the music fades out at 0:35._

MICHAEL: Laurel! Why aren't you at the meeting? You're part of the council.

LAUREL: _(sarcastic) _Why aren't YOU there? You're part of the town!

MICHAEL: I couldn't. Not without..._(stares deeply into her eyes) _YOU there. _(during his subtle emphasis of the word "you," his voice drops an octave.)_

LAUREL: Really? _(blushes) _Oh, Michael, they don't like me. I can see it in...their eyes. They don't want me to lead them! _(her Boston accent amplifies even more.) _I just don't feel...wanted.

MICHAEL: Oh, Laurel, you'll always be wanted by me! Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were the perfect leader. All the time we spent together just amplified it.

LAUREL: Yes, those two hours were special to me, too! But, do you really think I can do this?

MICHAEL: Of course! There's no one better.

LAUREL: Even though I'm only twelve?

MICHAEL: Hath an angel an age?

LAUREL: What beautiful Shakespeare!

MICHAEL: _(grabs Laurel's wrist and lightly guides her to her to her feet and into his arms)_

GREG: Blue rocks!

_Opening Titles picks up where it left off and camera pans over to reveal Greg and Blaine grafitti-ing green bunks. Micheal releases Laurel and holds her at arms' length._

MICHAEL: Goodbye, angel. I will walk you to your bunk.

LAUREL: M...my bunk? But I had thought...

MICHAEL: _(oblivious) _Yes, that IS where you sleep, correct?

LAUREL: _(steps closer) _Hath an angel no morals? No concience? No inhibitance when it comes to love? To lust? Hath an angel always a flowing white dress?

MICHAEL: More Shakespeare? But if you're quoting that scene...ooooh! _(takes her hand) _Well in that case, I'll walk you to MY bunk! _(Laurel smiles)_

BLAINE: Go blue! _(Laurel and Michael flee)_

_End episode 2._


	3. Episode 3

_We see Taylor sitting on a bale of hay._

TAYLOR: Going down to the swamp, Hilmaneeeee _(her voice is uncannily beautiful and Leila enters the barn, drawn by the sound)_

LEILA: Hey, Taylor, was that you?

TAYLOR: Yep!

LEILA: Wow, Taylor, you are the greatest! I could never hope to be as wonderful as you! In fact, after hearing that song, all of my hopes and dreams of ever achieving a goodness that of yours were crushed!

TAYLOR: _(heavily accented) _Why, suga, that's just 'bout the sweetest thing anybody's ever done for me!

LEILA: You mean you've never inadverdantly crushed someone's life before?

TAYLOR: Oh, sweets, I do that every day! It just makes 'em feel better if I say I don't.

LEILA: Oooh. _(nods) _Wow, you really are the...hey, Taylor, you look really pale! Do you feel OK?

TAYLOR: _(looks down) _No, I don't. In fact, I feel downright sicker than a...oh my god!

LEILA: What? What? _(rushes to Taylor's side)_

TAYLOR: It feels like...something inside me...just...broke!

LEILA: Oh, dear! Where's that behind-the-scene medic secret medic crew when you need them? I can't believe...wait. I know what's wrong! My mom said the same thing, but she was..._(narrows her eyes) _Pregnant.

_Seatlemusic's Ninevah from JONAS swells 2:09 in._

TAYLOR: Oh my god! You're right, I am! That explains..._(look down at her stomach) _That...

LEILA: Dude, was that thing there before?

TAYLOR: _(glares at Leila)_

LEILA: Sorry, sorry. _(helps Taylor up, who starts shrieking in pain because she conveniently hadn't been experiencing labor pains until now)_ C'mon, we need to get you to a hospital!

_NINEVAH swells up again, 3:45 in, and we cut to a view of the girls' sillhouettes agains the sun as the hobble to the top-secret behind-the-scenes medic hospital thingie._

_End episode 3._


	4. Episode 4

_We see blue bunkhouse. As the camera zooms out, we hear "Belly of the Whale" by the Newsboys. At 0:21, we see Greg listening to his iPod. Blaine enters_

BLAINE: Dude, didn't you know we weren't supposed to bring electronic devices here?

GREG: Yeah, but...

BLAINE: _(grins) _Whatch'a listening to? _(he rather rudely grabs the iPod and puts the earphones in his ears.)_

_The song lyrics "up to my ears in bitter tears, can't believe I've sunk this low" play. Blaine looks beyond the fact that this a kid's song from the soundtrack of a kid's movie._

BLAINE: This is sad, man! Why such sad music?

GREG: I've just been...sad lately.

BLAINE: _(nods) _Missing home?

GREG: _(looks up like this has never occured to him before) _Um...yeah, that's it.

BLAINE: _(gives Greg back iPod) _Yeah, I understand. I miss my parents...and my dog too.

GREG: Yeah, dog..._(puts iPod back in.)_

_The boys sit in silence for a few moments. _

GREG: _(agitated, speaks quickly) _I can't lie to you. I...

BLAINE: What?

GREG: I'm sad because...because...I kind of like someone right now.

BLAINE: Oooh. Is she back home?

GREG: _(winces at the word "she") _W-well...um...

BLAINE: I totally get it.

GREG: No, you don't. I kind of...no, I really DO like..._(takes a deep breath, slowly pulls iPod out of his ears) _you.

BLAINE: What!

GREG: I knew it! You hate me! You're disgusted! _(bites his lip)_

BLAINE: No, I was just suprised. _(smiles weakly) _I like you too...

_Seatlemusic's ON THE HILL, 0:06 in plays as the camera zooms out of the Blue bunk. The words "Lives of Our Children" comes up, underneath it says "To be continued..."_

_End episode four._


End file.
